An Entirely Healthy Obsession




It’s quite revealing that the only time MRAs ever mention male rape victims is to make a straw-man argument that feminists don’t care about them.

Well…do you care about them?  All we see is the definition of rape changing to more men-women rape, men not being able to be raped legally in some countries (e.g. UK), and little to no funding going to help these victims.  All the while the feminist community is silent on the issue and spewing false statistics about how “95% of rapists are men”,

I can’t speak for any country outside the US, as that’s where I am, but my response is this:

Firstly, in January 2012, it was the Obama administration, backed by several feminist-supported organizations like RAINN who work on behalf of ALL rape survivors, that officially changed the definition of rape to include male and non-gender-binary people as victims.

"The old definition — “the carnal knowledge of a female, forcibly and against her will” — covered only forcible penetration of a woman’s vagina by a penis, and excluded many other kinds of sexual assaults that count as rape under more modern definitions.

For example, the outdated definition did not count forcible anal or oral penetration, the penetration of the vagina or anus with an object or other body part, the rape of a man, or the rape of a woman by another woman.

It also did not cover nonconsensual sex that does not involve physical force — like the rape of people who are unable to grant consent because they are drugged, very drunk or younger than the age of statutory consent in their state, a number that varies across the country.” (2)

The new definition was“The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”
Those fighting against this redefinition and broadening of the definition of rape were not feminists.  Feminist groups vehemently fought for expanding the definition to one that included male or non-binary victims, female or non-binary perpetrators, instances like date rape, statutory or unconscious rape, AND the use of objects other than a penis as a tool for rape. 

Those against this redefinition were generally conservative groups and Republican politicians. 

In other words, anti-feminists. 

The reason why GOP members were against redefinition bill was not about rape at all.  They were afraid that broadening the definition of rape would make abortion more accessible to victims of all types of rape, not just “forcible” or “legitimate” rape as they so-descriptively called it.  These conservatives didn’t care about helping male victims, punishing female perpetrators, or modernizing how we deal with rape at all.  They cared about making abortions harder to access, at the expense of rape victims.  They threw all victims of rape under the bus, including men and trans* folk.  That is the true meaning of anti-feminist.

So there’s that.

Also, I don’t know where you get your statistic about feminists claiming that 95% of rapists are male.  If you could source, that would be great.  When doing my own research, I found that the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics states that 91% of rape victims are female and 9% are male, and 99% of rapists are male.  That means that the majority of those that rape men are also men. (1)

ALSO: I have seen this post that links to organizations that provide support for male victims floating around on feminist blogs.  Not MRA blogs, not conservative ones.  Feminist blogs.

So quit your straw-manning.







This hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m still feeling a little nauseous after this realization.

I also put it on DA

This is a wonderful presentation. I just had to add these:







Don’t ever let anyone tell you that gender egalitarianism isn’t possible among humans, or that our species’ “natural” state is one of gender oppression.

^Let’s all remember this the next time someone tries to say that Africans are all a bunch of savages compared to us civilized folk.

To add to the archeology bit, let’s remember that it took until 2013 for someone to bother doing an analysis of the handprints and strokes in cave paintings and figure out they were likely done by women. Archeologists “just assumed” they had been drawn by men for centuries.



An elderly woman in Minnesota is seeking punitive damages against a nursing home that placed her in a mental health facility and protected her attacker after she was raped.

According to court documents obtained by the Star Tribune, Edgewood Vista senior living facility forced the 89-year-old woman to spend 72 hours in the mental health unit of St. Luke’s Hospital near Duluth after she reported that 30-year-old Andrew Scott Merzwski had raped her in her bed at the senior home.

The woman said that Merzwski had entered her room as she preparing for bed. After she invited him to watch a movie, he started taking off his clothes.

“It’s not right, this wouldn’t be right,” the woman reportedly told Merzwski, pointing to a photo of her husband.

After the victim’s daughter notified police, Merzwski admitted that he had sex with the 89-year-old woman.

About that same time, the nursing home transferred the woman to a psychiatric ward at St. Luke’s Hospital for nearly three days.

“The room she was in was dark and cold … and they locked her in at night and all she had was a blanket,” nurse examiner Theresa Flesvig said in the court documents.

When Flesvig was finally able to examine the victim, she found the “biggest tear” as a result of rape that she had ever seen in her career.

Testimony filed with the court said that the nursing home’s clinical services director, Marilyn Moore, tried to defend that rapist after he had confessed to police.

“Did she tell you that this was consensual?” Moore asked Flesvig. “Did she tell you that she flirts with this boy mercilessly?”

Moore later allegedly told sexual assault advocate Mary Salisbury that the victim was “was making it up,” and described her as a “flirt.”

“I was just shocked that somebody was so blatantly putting the blame on this woman,” Flesvig noted.

Merzwski was sentenced to 53 months in prison ordered to register as a sex offender for a period of 10 years. The Health Department cited the nursing home for failing to immediately report the rape, but concluded that the Merzwski was solely responsible for the victim’s maltreatment.

Watch the video below from WDIO, broadcast Feb. 23, 2014.

H/T: David Edwards for The Raw Story

Shouldn’t the home be responsible for punishing her after she reported the rape at least?





A man is 631 times more likely to become an NFL player than to be falsely accused of rape.

"We end on a serious note. Because 1 in 33 men will be raped in his lifetime, men are 82,000x more likely to be raped than falsely accused of rape. It seems many of us would do well to pay more attention to how rape culture affects us all than be paranoid about false accusers.”

that last paragraph

Holy shit. 


"It’s like presenting a dog with a sirloin steak and expecting him not to eat it."


I presented my two dogs with an actual sirloin steak, then told them no.

Woofles didn’t even approach it when I set it down, as I hadn’t told him it was okay to do so.
Quinn approached it, completely ready to take it from the plate (as her manners are not yet as good as Woofles’ manners), was told no, and immediately backed off.

When Woofles heard the no, he turned away as well because he knew that steak was not for him to eat.

Notice how they didn’t ‘argue’, didn’t take it anyway, didn’t get aggressive, didn’t beg, or didn’t try to somehow persuade me that they should be able to have it.

They were told no, they backed off.

So, essentially, if you use that analogy to excuse rape, you’re saying you have less self control and fewer basic social manners than my two dogs.

That also probably means you should be neutered and kept on a leash.


Let’s take a moment to talk about this. I mean, because first off, “Tell cars not to hit kids.” Well, yeah, we do that all the fucking time, idiot. Ever seen signs like these?

We have classes and signs and laws about it, and people are constantly reminded. So your argument only works if we put up signs everywhere reminding assholes not to rape. But you’d rather talk about how rape victims have it coming to them.
But the dumbest part of this crap? Roads exist for cars to drive on. Children need to be careful to cross the street because they’re entering into an environment that exists specifically for something that is dangerous to them. The only way this shit is a valid comparison is if you think that bars, parties, and the world in general exists specifically for men to have sex with women. And I gotta break it to the guys who support this stupidity- your dicks are not that important. So knock off this bullshit and stop excusing rapists.


Let’s take a moment to talk about this. I mean, because first off, “Tell cars not to hit kids.” Well, yeah, we do that all the fucking time, idiot. Ever seen signs like these?




We have classes and signs and laws about it, and people are constantly reminded. So your argument only works if we put up signs everywhere reminding assholes not to rape. But you’d rather talk about how rape victims have it coming to them.

But the dumbest part of this crap? Roads exist for cars to drive on. Children need to be careful to cross the street because they’re entering into an environment that exists specifically for something that is dangerous to them. The only way this shit is a valid comparison is if you think that bars, parties, and the world in general exists specifically for men to have sex with women. And I gotta break it to the guys who support this stupidity- your dicks are not that important. So knock off this bullshit and stop excusing rapists.





An Iowa youth pastor convicted of raping underage boys to “cure” them of their homosexuality will serve no jail time.

“Rape away the gay” pastor Brent Girouex, a 31-year-old Iowa man, will not serve jail time after confessing to police that he had sex with at least four youths, according to a recent report.

Girouex, who is married with four children, was arrested last year on 60 counts of suspicion of sexual exploitation by a counselor or therapist. UPI reports Girouex confessed to Council Bluffs police detectives that he had sexual relations with four young men starting in 2007 to help them gain “sexual purity” in the eyes of God. However, at least eight men have come forward with complaints that the pastor molested them.

Girouex told detectives that his actions were meant to “help with homosexual urges by praying while he had sexual contact with [them]” in order to keep them “sexually pure” for God. Because, as Girouex explained to detectives, ”when they would ejaculate, they would be getting rid of the evil thoughts in their mind.”

A judge issued a 17-year prison sentence for the heinous crimes, but then inexplicably suspended the sentence to allow Girouex to get sex offender treatment and probation. Girouex’s probation will last five years, the maximum allowed by law.

This a problem. Make it a real fucking issue, Tumblr.

I cannot even wrap my mind around that excuse, what in the everloving fuck.

So. As a person who believe in god, and believes that jesus christ is my lord and savior. Just going to say that this mutherfucka is going to hell ten fold. 

[tw: rape] I Can’t Go Back, Or, Why I’m So Bent Out Of Shape About Penny Arcade



PAX is not, and has never been, a safe place for me to be.

In 2008, I went to PAX for the first time. Despite all of the male gamers trying to tell me how to play StarCraft, despite all of the hungry looks, despite all of the catcalls, it was the most welcome I have ever felt at the con. And this was the year I met the man who raped me.

He instantly bothered me. He was clingy but arrogant and dismissive. But he was a friend of friends, friends who insisted he was “a decent person but takes some getting used to,” and also “totally harmless.” Wrong on both counts. Over the course of the weekend, he singled me out several times, telling me that he could tell I was into him, and that I should stop resisting his advances. At one point he had grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me outside, down the block. He took me away from the safety of my friend’s apartment, into the streets of an unfamiliar town, at dark.

Many excruciating things transpired in the next six weeks. I was endlessly harassed and bullied by this man. I was kidnapped on my twenty-first birthday. I was woken up in the middle of the night, over and over again. So I did everything I could to distance myself from him, but because he was a friend of my friends, I just couldn’t get away from him. I asked my friends to not leave me alone in the same room with him. I asked them to always check in with me when they saw me on Vent or AIM.

And six weeks later, he showed up at my door.

I lived alone. And I mean ALONE. No roommates, no local friends. I didn’t even know a neighbor in the complex who could help me. He forced his way into my home with the singular intent of raping me. I only remember little pieces of what happened (thank you, traumatized brain, for protecting me). I remember very clearly trying hard to breathe and trying hard not to cry. I remember thinking, “If you can just survive, you can put the pieces back together later.”

For six months, I was a broken human being. I quit my job. I stopped going to classes. And I started drinking. Once, I reached out to another member of my WoW guild to tell him what had happened, only to be completely cut off from him and the rest of my guild. Like many victims, I felt ashamed and guilty about being raped. Some days, I even felt like it was my fault. Like, “If only I had not gone to this convention where all of these men told me they want to do terrible things to me, maybe I would not be such a fucking wreck right now.”

I realized right away that was not the right train of thought. After all, I’d just met plenty of awesome people at PAX! Many of them were not interested in causing me bodily harm at all!

Remember: 2008 was the most positive experience I had with PAX. I have attended six consecutive PAXes, each more discouraging and toxic than the last. To be fair, there is always fun to be had at PAX. It’s a neat convention. Except when you get down to some of the people who attend it.

I used to think that the man who raped me was in the minority. That the men who shouted obscene things at me just didn’t fucking know any better, because hey, we’re all geeks. We’re not exactly known for possessing stellar social skills. I used to think that the men attending PAX who didn’t respect, or even like, women were the exceptions instead of the rule. But now I know better. Because Gabe told me so.

In 2010, the Dickwolves strip was published. It wasn’t a funny joke to begin with—treating victims as punchlines is never funny to me—but as a rape survivor it offended me and made me question my value to the community. Obviously Penny Arcade has never really catered to me, not really, but this was the first instance where I felt worse than worthless to them. This was the first instance that I realized the founders of the community would rather make jokes at my expense, at the risk of my safety, than admit that they were wrong and withdraw their statement.

So on Monday, when Gabe’s statement about regretting the retraction of the Dickwolves merch was met with raucous cheers of agreement, my stomach churned. My vision went blurry. I felt dizzy. That entire room of people supports him making money from minimizing the most excruciating experience of my life. The entire room validated his stance. Every cheer reaffirmed his belief that rape is something to laugh at and to profit from.

Let me be clear: I do not think all members of the PAX community are rape apologists. In fact, I think many of these people are wonderful humans. But the community has progressed to a place where it is UNSAFE for me to even say that I’m offended. Let me say that again: standing up for myself within the Penny Arcade community has become a threat to my physical well being.

I don’t even know what else to say. But why the fuck do I have to be the one to say it?

Friends, please read all of this. And remember that the merch that was pulled was created in the first place to make fun of the people who complained (politely, at first) about the comic strip. Their response to the concerns of rape survivors was to mock them and make money at it.

I’ve seen several people on the change-it-from-within front saying “but if they keep us out, they win.”

I think that’s true in many situations. I don’t think it’s true of PAX. Once they’ve got your money, and they’ve shown over the past three years and more that they have no intention whatsoever of listening to your voice. Short of a majority of the Enforcer team going on strike for change, nothing is going to change PAX from within because the owners have already shown they’re not open to it.

As far as they’re concerned, they’ve won the moment you buy your ticket.

[tw: rape culture] To Whom It May Concern:



Mike Krahulik (Gabe) of Penny Arcade has said he regrets taking down Dickwolves merchandise. Which, if you aren’t familiar, was created with the express intent of mocking rape survivors. 

Let that sink in for a minute. 

I think my friend Ryan put it pretty well:

I’m generally pretty up front about my dislike for Penny Arcade. I haven’t been a fan for a while. But this is the last straw. This is where I’m ready to burn bridges over it. Continuing to support Penny Arcade and PAX is making a statement. That statement is “it’s okay to perpetuate rape culture and make nerd spaces worse as long as I think you’re funny.” It’s “I value survivors less than a webcomic.”

This is pretty personal for me. I’ve been raped, I’ve been sexually assaulted. I’ve been harassed in nerd spaces. This is pretty directly my skin on the line, in terms of making nerd spaces safer for everyone.

This is #1reasonwhy. This is why women don’t feel safe at conventions. Because the men who spearhead them, their figureheads, actively advocate for rape culture. Because their leaders actively devalue women’s safety. Because a crowd cheers them on.

So, like what you’re gonna like! Do what you’re gonna do! But this is to the point where I will absolutely consider it a testament to your character if you go to PAX, support Penny Arcade, or try to minimize an audience cheering Mike’s bigotry. I will consider it, and I will not trust you. 

this is disgusting


i know everyone is going nuts about all of the other huge news stories going on right now but

A 15-year-old boy who was raped by a 34-year-old woman now faces child support in Nebraska.

This is the case for now 19-year-old Jeremy Steen, of Lincoln, Nebraska. In 2008, Steen was seduced and raped repeatedly by his 34-year-old baby sitter Linda Kazinsky. Sources testified that the sexual abuse took place weekly for nearly 3 years. After police were alerted, Ms. Kazinsky was arrested and charged with statutory rape and false imprisonment.

Kazinsky was employed as a babysitter for the Steens for nearly 3 years.

After Kazinsky’s release from Nebraska’s state prison system in 2012 she was able to regain custody of her child. The child had been a ward of the state for the first 13 months until Debra Kazinsky, Linda’s sister, was able to gain custody. After being reunited with her child, Kazinsky promptly filed for Aid and Government assistance which in turn landed Jeremy with a subpena for child support.

Jeremy had his day in court and was ordered to pay $475 a month in child support to Linda Kazinsky as well as a whopping $23,000 in back Child Support payments.

  • This adult woman raped a 15 year old boy weekly over the course of THREE YEARS
  • This woman only saw the inside of a jail cell for one YEAR
  • This woman got pregnant with his child and WON CUSTODY OF THAT CHILD
  • and this child is being forced to pay child support to his rapist.
  • This now 19 year old must pay her 475 a month
  • and apparently owes her 23K in pack payments
  • TO
  • HIS