It’s quite revealing that the only time MRAs ever mention male rape victims is to make a straw-man argument that feminists don’t care about them.
Well…do you care about them? All we see is the definition of rape changing to more men-women rape, men not being able to be raped legally in some countries (e.g. UK), and little to no funding going to help these victims. All the while the feminist community is silent on the issue and spewing false statistics about how “95% of rapists are men”,
I can’t speak for any country outside the US, as that’s where I am, but my response is this:
Firstly, in January 2012, it was the Obama administration, backed by several feminist-supported organizations like RAINN who work on behalf of ALL rape survivors, that officially changed the definition of rape to include male and non-gender-binary people as victims.
"The old definition — “the carnal knowledge of a female, forcibly and against her will” — covered only forcible penetration of a woman’s vagina by a penis, and excluded many other kinds of sexual assaults that count as rape under more modern definitions.
For example, the outdated definition did not count forcible anal or oral penetration, the penetration of the vagina or anus with an object or other body part, the rape of a man, or the rape of a woman by another woman.
It also did not cover nonconsensual sex that does not involve physical force — like the rape of people who are unable to grant consent because they are drugged, very drunk or younger than the age of statutory consent in their state, a number that varies across the country.” (2)
The new definition was“The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”
Those fighting against this redefinition and broadening of the definition of rape were not feminists. Feminist groups vehemently fought for expanding the definition to one that included male or non-binary victims, female or non-binary perpetrators, instances like date rape, statutory or unconscious rape, AND the use of objects other than a penis as a tool for rape.
Those against this redefinition were generally conservative groups and Republican politicians.
In other words, anti-feminists.
The reason why GOP members were against redefinition bill was not about rape at all. They were afraid that broadening the definition of rape would make abortion more accessible to victims of all types of rape, not just “forcible” or “legitimate” rape as they so-descriptively called it. These conservatives didn’t care about helping male victims, punishing female perpetrators, or modernizing how we deal with rape at all. They cared about making abortions harder to access, at the expense of rape victims. They threw all victims of rape under the bus, including men and trans* folk. That is the true meaning of anti-feminist.
So there’s that.
Also, I don’t know where you get your statistic about feminists claiming that 95% of rapists are male. If you could source, that would be great. When doing my own research, I found that the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics states that 91% of rape victims are female and 9% are male, and 99% of rapists are male. That means that the majority of those that rape men are also men. (1)
ALSO: I have seen this post that links to organizations that provide support for male victims floating around on feminist blogs. Not MRA blogs, not conservative ones. Feminist blogs.
So quit your straw-manning.
To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem.
I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never condone.
And they’ve told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can’t let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right?
So fine. If all those arguments aren’t going anything for you, let me tell you this. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don’t want to hurt anybody, and you don’t see the harm, and that it’s important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing.
Because this is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down-
6% of college age men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act.
6% of Penny Arcade’s target demographic will admit to actually being rapists when asked.
A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?
They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.
Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.
If one in twenty guys is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, really cool guy, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.
But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.
And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed?
That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.
You. The rapist’s comrade.
And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore…
Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.
Time-Machine (via a comment at shakesville.com)
Single greatest argument about this I have ever heard.
So in case people are wondering in Canada poking holes in condoms or otherwise tampering with birth control has now been classified as sexual assault because it coerces the conditions by which consent is obtained.
A man in Nova Scotia poked holes in the condoms hoping to get his girlfriend pregnant so she would be forced to stay with him. She did become pregnant and had an abortion and filed charges. The supreme court of Canada upheld the ruling today unanimously. This is a big step forward to helping get rid of rape culture.
This hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m still feeling a little nauseous after this realization.
This is a wonderful presentation. I just had to add these:
Don’t ever let anyone tell you that gender egalitarianism isn’t possible among humans, or that our species’ “natural” state is one of gender oppression.
^Let’s all remember this the next time someone tries to say that Africans are all a bunch of savages compared to us civilized folk.
To add to the archeology bit, let’s remember that it took until 2013 for someone to bother doing an analysis of the handprints and strokes in cave paintings and figure out they were likely done by women. Archeologists “just assumed” they had been drawn by men for centuries.
An elderly woman in Minnesota is seeking punitive damages against a nursing home that placed her in a mental health facility and protected her attacker after she was raped.
According to court documents obtained by the Star Tribune, Edgewood Vista senior living facility forced the 89-year-old woman to spend 72 hours in the mental health unit of St. Luke’s Hospital near Duluth after she reported that 30-year-old Andrew Scott Merzwski had raped her in her bed at the senior home.
The woman said that Merzwski had entered her room as she preparing for bed. After she invited him to watch a movie, he started taking off his clothes.
“It’s not right, this wouldn’t be right,” the woman reportedly told Merzwski, pointing to a photo of her husband.
After the victim’s daughter notified police, Merzwski admitted that he had sex with the 89-year-old woman.
About that same time, the nursing home transferred the woman to a psychiatric ward at St. Luke’s Hospital for nearly three days.
“The room she was in was dark and cold … and they locked her in at night and all she had was a blanket,” nurse examiner Theresa Flesvig said in the court documents.
When Flesvig was finally able to examine the victim, she found the “biggest tear” as a result of rape that she had ever seen in her career.
Testimony filed with the court said that the nursing home’s clinical services director, Marilyn Moore, tried to defend that rapist after he had confessed to police.
“Did she tell you that this was consensual?” Moore asked Flesvig. “Did she tell you that she flirts with this boy mercilessly?”
Moore later allegedly told sexual assault advocate Mary Salisbury that the victim was “was making it up,” and described her as a “flirt.”
“I was just shocked that somebody was so blatantly putting the blame on this woman,” Flesvig noted.
Merzwski was sentenced to 53 months in prison ordered to register as a sex offender for a period of 10 years. The Health Department cited the nursing home for failing to immediately report the rape, but concluded that the Merzwski was solely responsible for the victim’s maltreatment.
Watch the video below from WDIO, broadcast Feb. 23, 2014.
Shouldn’t the home be responsible for punishing her after she reported the rape at least?
A man is 631 times more likely to become an NFL player than to be falsely accused of rape.
"We end on a serious note. Because 1 in 33 men will be raped in his lifetime, men are 82,000x more likely to be raped than falsely accused of rape. It seems many of us would do well to pay more attention to how rape culture affects us all than be paranoid about false accusers.”
that last paragraph
"So that’s how I saw the whole “rape joke” controversy. And, again, my view was based on my experience as a comedian. 25 years experience, you know? This was about censorship, and the limits of comedy, and the freedom to create and fuck up while you hone what you create.
But remember what I was talking about, in the first two sections of this? In the “Thievery” section and then the “Heckling” section? About how people only bring their own perceptions and experiences to bear when reacting to something? And, since they’re speaking honestly from their experience, they truly think they’re correct? Dismissive, even? See if any of these sound familiar:
There’s no “evidence” of a “rape culture” in this country. I’ve never wanted to rape anyone, so why am I being lumped in as the enemy? If these bloggers and feminists make “rape jokes” taboo, or “rape” as a subject off-limits no matter what the approach, then it’ll just lead to more censorship.
They sure sound familiar to me because I, at various points, was saying them. Either out loud, or to myself, or to other comedian and non-comedian friends when we would argue about this. I had my viewpoint, and it was based on solid experience, and it…was…fucking…wrong.”
- excerpt from Patton Oswalt, "A Closed Letter To Myself About Thievery, Heckling, And Rape Jokes"
"It’s like presenting a dog with a sirloin steak and expecting him not to eat it."
I presented my two dogs with an actual sirloin steak, then told them no.
Woofles didn’t even approach it when I set it down, as I hadn’t told him it was okay to do so.
Quinn approached it, completely ready to take it from the plate (as her manners are not yet as good as Woofles’ manners), was told no, and immediately backed off.
When Woofles heard the no, he turned away as well because he knew that steak was not for him to eat.
Notice how they didn’t ‘argue’, didn’t take it anyway, didn’t get aggressive, didn’t beg, or didn’t try to somehow persuade me that they should be able to have it.
They were told no, they backed off.
So, essentially, if you use that analogy to excuse rape, you’re saying you have less self control and fewer basic social manners than my two dogs.
That also probably means you should be neutered and kept on a leash.
The first dozen times I heard this, I was horrified. But I heard it over and over again. I realized that many young men are not being taught the impact that sexual assault has on a woman. They are inundated by sexual imagery in the media, and often come to the (incorrect) conclusion that having sex is not a big deal. This, no doubt, is why the number of sexual assaults is so high.
Laurie Halse Anderson, author of Speak, on the question “Have any readers ever asked questions that shocked you?”
Read that again. Read it again, and again, and again. Over and over guys have asked her why Melinda was so upset about being raped. This is a girl who went to a party with friends. She was thirteen. She had a drink, because everyone else was. And a senior held her down and raped her while she was too drunk to get away.
And guys don’t understand why she was upset.
Read that again and then come back and tell me again why I should just shut up and take a joke when a comedian blows off rape as a big deal, or women’s bodies are casually treated as commodities in media. Remind me why I shouldn’t care about the very real harm that society’s treatment of women and sexual assault does.
Let’s take a moment to talk about this. I mean, because first off, “Tell cars not to hit kids.” Well, yeah, we do that all the fucking time, idiot. Ever seen signs like these?
We have classes and signs and laws about it, and people are constantly reminded. So your argument only works if we put up signs everywhere reminding assholes not to rape. But you’d rather talk about how rape victims have it coming to them.
But the dumbest part of this crap? Roads exist for cars to drive on. Children need to be careful to cross the street because they’re entering into an environment that exists specifically for something that is dangerous to them. The only way this shit is a valid comparison is if you think that bars, parties, and the world in general exists specifically for men to have sex with women. And I gotta break it to the guys who support this stupidity- your dicks are not that important. So knock off this bullshit and stop excusing rapists.